The Worst Gig I Ever Did

So I had to think really carefully about them…I can think of two, actually more than two. I have, in fact done quite a few gigs in my time that would be considered ‘worst gigs’ for different reasons. This may be fodder for a few days blogs. I did  a duo gig with a mate at a historically important theatre bar in Islington, and the owner not only told us we were the worst duo he had ever had, but  refused to pay us -I think we only did one set.

I once did a gig with a strange local jazz band to a pub audience  of one  man and a dog.  The band did the first number – as I came on to sing the second number, the man and the dog left!  The same jazz band – their name somehow erased from my memory, managed to bluff their way into a gig in another local theatre bar where the bass player was the window cleaner – he had been trying for months to get us a gig, to no avail. The guitarist hatched this crazy idea, phoned up the pub with a phoney American accent to tell them that ‘Gitika ‘ was in from the States for a few days touring and somehow got us  a gig! The bass player went in disguise, as one of the blues brothers with the shades. This  meant he could not wear his glasses, so spent the whole evening on his knees with his head in his music as he could not see. I had to pretend to be American all evening – the gig was an absloute disaster. The band were shockingly bad, even on a good day  and this was a bad bad bad day, no-one played in time with anyone else. The p.a was cobbled together with bits of wire and tin cans, so I probably would not have heard a word I was singing (pretty common). The landlord recognised the bass player straight away, but waited until the end of the evening to sack him from his window cleaning job, and we didn’t get paid. Oh no my memory has been jogged, there are so many more ‘worst gigs’………..


10cc – worst band in the world

from ‘sheet music’……an amazing album, some extraordinary tracks.

Amazing words, I love the phrase ‘it irrigates my heart with greed’


  1. Love your story, which reminds me of the worst gig I ever ‘went’ to. Well, I didn’t actually go, I was in a bar in Bahrain one Christmas when the ‘band’ (a group of far-eastern girls) turned up, installed themselves on the stage in the corner, and struck up some tunes. To cut the story short, they were so bad the bar-goers started singing Christmas carols at maximum volume to drown them out. After a short battle, they accepted defeat. They left the stage with big smiles, good grace and got a hearty round of applause.

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