I wish.....

Booo hiss, not moaning about the hair again! My whole early life was ruined ( ha ha) in a fundamental way by visits to hairdressers, who always seemed to end up cutting my hair in the same style…what ever I said to them, what ever picture and wild and vivid descriptions I described. I went to many different hairdresser usually spending my whole appointment trying to be as ‘interesting  and vivacious’ as possible in the effort to get a ‘funky’ hairdo, because one thing we cannot call Julie Andrews’ hair in the Sound of Music   is ‘Funky’. But possibly as a punishment for being a ‘try hard’ I always ended up coming out of the hairdresser with that slightly dodgy bowl type of hair cut….which was fairly annoying, as I was trying hard to be a cool singer in a band – with the most sensible hair cut ever.

the bowl cut

When I was 17, I was in a theatre company and the director decided to be pretty mean to me by insisting if I wanted to play a particular role I would have to have all my hair cut off…which I  did.  I had at that point just managed to get my hair long, centre parting after spending my the first ten years of my life with the proverbial home made bowl on my head.  So I had my hair cut off and everyone

do I look like I am playing heavy metal?

called me Julie for two years, as the resemblance between me and Julie Andrews was astonishing. As hard  as I tried to grow it…I would always end up having a friend who was studying hairdressing who wanted to try out their ‘kool kutting’ on me, hey presto…would end up looking  like blinkin Maria Von Trapp all over again. I was in a band just after I left college and they had a stylist  who….it’s really true…… cut my hair, in the style of the lovely Julie! It was a heavy rock band for gadz sake! Oh I wanted long hair and a centre parting…oh woe was me….

not a sensible haircut

I went to a cool hairdresser called Jaffa in Covent Garden a couple of times and I had a hairdo like the bloke from Kajagoogoo for a bit which was great…he cut my hair with a razor and bleached random bits of it! Well it was 1983…but then the next hairdresser gave me  ‘Julie’ look even though I asked for a ‘Limahl’  This experience  happened twice in the same funky hairdresser in Camden …with a 20 year gap between visits. It happened in a hip and trendy place in Brick Lane about 7 years ago -I took in a fab picture and came out looking like Julie Andrews…again!

I am now too old to have a long haired centre parting and am about to surrender and embrace the Von Trapp look, but I  am still caught in the hamster wheel of the long hair, short hair, dilemma … want my hair long, want to tie it back. When it gets long-ish , I get it cut, I cry, I hate it, I like it, I hate it again, I grow it again, I get fed up, I cut it. And I never stop going on about it.…..shall I have a fringe? shall I grow my fringe? shall I have a bob ? do you think I should have it layered? Mr P. finally screams…just have it all cut off!!!!!! And you thought I was deep…yes siree bob..I is deep, and shallow, long and short, all rolled into one.

SONG OF THE DAY –it is definately a dancing round the kitchen day now Spring is officially here though we poor Brits have to wait another week for the clocks to Spring Forward.

Shame by Evelyn’Champagne’ King-one of the best dance records ever..and it is over 6 mins long as the breakdown in the middle is cracking! Evelyn was only 17 when this came out. Classy!

So after my post yesterday about bad hair.. My Friend Dennis Plaxton took 2 years to make this short film as it meant taking a picture of all his facial hair growing…everyday…the results! Well see for yourself!
and we have not even began to talk about Chris Rock’s really interesting film of the same name ‘bad hair’ which puts the caucasian hair dilemma into it’s true context when you see what society has done to the image  women’s afro hair-well worth a view.

This is a quote below ‘Rock has been slapped with the $5 million lawsuit by director Regina Kimbell, who accuses the star of ripping off her 2005 documentary Nappy Roots.Kimbell claims that she showed her film – which won the Pan African Film Festival’s best documentary award in 2007 – to Rock that same year.Kimbell’s film “takes an unparalleled look at how black hair is used as a prism through which to look at cultural, societal and political issues in the African-American community over time“,

But back to Mr Plaxton’s marvellous short film…give it 5 mins!

I OFTEN THINK I AM HAVING A BAD HAIR LIFE. Mr P. gets so bored with me going on and on and on about my hair. It’s short , it’s long, it’s curly, blonde, brown, red, maroon and really surely I should be getting to an age where it really should have no importance anymore…but it still does…I can tell you exactly what style of hair I had at any time over the last twenty years. Shall I have it cut, shall I grow it? I cut it, I cry, I grow it, I hate it. What is it about hair that the day before you go to the hairdressers it decides to sort itself out . Oh your hair looks nice…funny that..Going to have it cut tomorrow. Now it gets worse…my face is going south so have to completely re-think the whole hair thing…again. Women of a certain age really need to be even more diligent  about the  dead cells growing out of their skulls.

But I have found a temporary answer to all my problems! Cosmopolitans, celebrity makeover page ha ha ha ha. So here are  photos of, me, Mr P and his work collegue sporting our new Madonna and  Kirsten Stewart  Posh looks.  I tell you what …it is no good for writers block…and rubbish for the morale…but did we laugh.

One of the best bits about these celebrity hairdo is that not only do you get their coiffeurary, but a cute new little chin too…Wierd, as most celebs have the same pointy chin – before this moment I never realised that my chin was big and oblong, as the thing I noticed when falling around hysterically at all the hairdos was my lack of chin! Also how if we all had the same chin the rest of our features would sort of meld into one.

So while we  do a bit of Vogueing round the kitchen  I am only a chin away from looking just like Victoria Beckham ( in my dreams)  Sorry….will try to get back to some semblance of madness tomorrow.


Sorrow  – David Bowie

‘with your long blonde hair and your eyes of blue’

Pin Ups- a great album of Bowies take on British 60’s covers.