I know it is very ungrateful to moan or complain, or post rantings written in the middle of the night, but this week I have been doing  mostly ‘completely wired’ insomnia, the sort of insomnia you would expect to get if you had imbibed 18 espresso in a day, followed by the ‘lower back pain I can’t get comfortable’ insomnia.

This week, due to some sort of mad impulse I am only eating fruit and vegetables and blinking camomile tea ( which I am finally getting a taste for). The detox was long overdue, but seems to be causing some nasty symptoms – like headaches back aches, and obviously…. sleplessness. There has also been a full moon (quick howl) and my ovaries and uterus are having an identity crisis. Like me, they are having trouble  adjusting to the fact I am no longer a young woman, and am, at what seems to be the speed of a japanese bullet train  moving into middle age with a capital M and A.

I shall be eating mostly carrot cake

I am 51 years old until Saturday, St. Georges Day, Easter Saturday. All you ladies of a certain age may understand, but then some will not.

well if I am, she is....

The jolly old menopause can manifest itself in so many ways, I shall spare you details, but physical, mental torture, almost constant pain (some are like period pains but ten times worse), regular insomnia and a suddenly unrecognisable face are some of the ones you can mention in public.  Lots of people are very mean about women who are menopausal – particularly some  men (ha ha ha ). It is one of those situations where I would like to invite the unsympathetic to live in my body (not really) and all its foebles for a week and then stop with the moaning about  how moody I am, cos actually, with the amount of pain I go through I think I am pretty even-tempered….tell that to the man who heard me scream SHUT-UP  to Mr P in the middle of a tranquil country lane the other day, and Mr P. was not actually talking!…The man  looked at me as if I was a serial killer ha ha ha. So I am typing this at 4 in the morning, hoping the burning in my legs , the lower back pain and the griping cramp in my lower abdomen will subside enough that I can get a few zzzzzzs before the sun swings over the yard arm. The birds are up, and the sun won’t be long behind. I might find some solace in watching the sunrise as I can see it from this window I am typing from.


It is funny that there are no commercial songs aout the menopause, no actually its not funny at all. I  am sure there are a few lurking round the folk scene and must endeavour to find one . But I was quite impressed when I first hear “The Pill” by Loretta Lyn, “The Coal-Miner’s Daughter” (the film is about her life). She was a mother 4 times before she was 19  and a grandmother by 29. This song which was actually banned on many radio  stations in the U.S. great piece of social historic music.

SO I am asleep..bravo! and then suddenly 1.59am I think I hear a big crash and I am now awake palpatating…Have we been broken into ? Or has lovely next door neighbour just decided to have little walk about in their garden at 2 in the morning…cos i know their back door  ( about 4 ft from my head when i am sleeping) sticks and is very noisy when it shuts…I can hear the radio  playing through the wall and see the light splling across the garden…so that might be the culprit. So what do i do now? Awake and bilious.

I thought the loud crash could have been in my head…but it does happen round these parts, if not next doors’ back door, it could be  the up-stairs neighbours doing late night  acrobatics from their ceiling…..I have a couple of contortionists who do very late night exercises together ( though I have complained about their late night antics, or should I say early morning banging, but have been told to stick it as it is a natural act -no wonder I am addicted to Neighbours. It is the fantasy of having neighbours who become good friends…ha ha ha. Chance would be a fine thing. Don’t do it Ringo ( I scream at the TV screen)…We have heard your songwriting. It needs to be a hobby…

But now i am definately feeling that the new ‘ ‘gluten free’ crumpet i had  ( well i had 2 actually) at about 10 pm with cheese and marmite might not have helped…and the gluten free crumpet tasted like the centre was mad of mashed potato…and i bought two packets and they say they are not suitable for freezing…

Funny story as i asked the  bread man in Sainsbo’s if he had any gluten free bread and he kindly lead  me to the FREE FORM   section. I was expecting to find a DJ in the middle of the gluten free section showing absolute distain for musical genre- so i not the only one who gets my letters all muddled.

…or perhaps i just had one too many squares of montezuma dark chocolate, and am suffering from mild caffeine overload, possibly it was too late in the evening for chocolate. At this moment …being asleep for 90 minutes a whole night does not make. SO I have had a cup of liver salts and will stay seated in a vertical position until the dreaded heartburn goes away.

i do not need to be up right now as i have to be at the hospital in the morning  for someone to poke around at the opening of my alimentary canal…nice. Well it is late and I feel at this moment it is only right to be down right honest about the predicaments which make up life…sorry if you are bit squeemish -Children…avert you eyes.

As you can see it is all rosy in London land..I am glad that I am not doing one of those…pesky homes and gardens blogs where you think…wow! i want to have that person’s life. I often wonder if in between gorgeous photos of order and ‘arty this and that’ there is murder most foul and stinky old washing up lining up in their kitchens.

SO what can SONG OF THE DAY be when it is really song in the middle of the night…gonna have peppermnt tea and have a little think…it’s now 3.10 am…the old man is off to work at 8am..so i am keeping as quiet as i can.

It has to be ‘Wish I did’nt Miss you  -by Angie Stone as the line ‘I can’t eat , i can’t sleep anymore’ is running round my head at the moment..I wonder why..belch belch.It uses a sample from the marvellous O’Jays Backstabbers track from early 70’s Philadelphia sound and is a proper late night track.