Usually Mrs Jiggybones did all the sewing in the house on the hill. But since her tragic demise on the canal boat last spring, things had changed around the house. Dr. J had let a lot of things slide, including the worn out fabric in many of the seats of many a pant. They were getting worse as his diet had gone a wry since poor Mrs. J’s leaving. In the good old days, Mrs J. had made sure he was getting a balanced diet of stewed sawbones and raw crossbeams, but now Mr J. ate mostly swiss rolls and let the crossbeams run a mock all over the house. Once the crossbeams had done a bit of “hurrah, we are free!” cheering and whooping, they magically seemed to multiply – you could not move for them dancing all over the place. Every surface seemed to be full of crossbeams bouncing, swinging, and having a wail of a time, knowing they were safe from the chop in this small part of the town. There was a little haven on the house of the hill. The word was out. “You can be free at Dr. J’s house” so the crossbeams gathered like locusts. Dr J. did not really notice, as his sight was not up to much and it was Mrs J. who had always had the job of cleaning his spectacles and putting them back on the edge of the treadle – the place where they were kept. Now – well he did not really need them much. Dr. J. was living in a land of delightful bluriness, with swiss rolls and dancing crossbeams, which looked, through his dim lit vision just like dancing moonbeams.
This was all fine until the last seat of the last pair of pants went and Mr J. could put it off no longer. The glasses would need to be found, and the treadle would need to be threaded. But oh no! Once he put the glasses back on and viewed the madness around he knew he had let things slide. The crossbeams would have to go, they had taken over the place. The Cross Control was called and the man with the big boots and the rubber hose took care of it all, as Dr. J. waited down the hall, behind a firmly closed door, so as to muffle the screams. Having learned his lesson, it was the last time Dr. Jiggybones would let the crossbeams get out of skew on the treadle.
SONG OF THE DAY – Fleetwood Mac – Big Love
I’d like to see Lindsay Buckingham stop pouting and crack a smile…go on…I know you want to and Stevie Nicks in some tracky bottoms.